You're not the only one who blew up at a dancer this weekend! I blew up at someone who is always wrong, keeps going up in level even though she messes up at the lower levels, and who shoves people the wrong direction. Luckily, I could just drop down to lower levels (like Mainstream or Advanced) and avoid her for the rest of the weekend. Yours wasn't a blonde from southern CA, was she?
As for DBD, there are two approaches you can take, either of which are completely valid in my mind: stack a square with dancers you like or skip them completely. I personally never do a TNP or DBD at anything near my "highest" level -- it takes too much mental energy that if I try to do TNP or DBD at my highest level, I'm working way too hard. Also, don't underestimate the joy of a stacked square! There are times to be welcoming to all, and times to set things up so that your square has a good time.
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As for DBD, there are two approaches you can take, either of which are completely valid in my mind: stack a square with dancers you like or skip them completely. I personally never do a TNP or DBD at anything near my "highest" level -- it takes too much mental energy that if I try to do TNP or DBD at my highest level, I'm working way too hard. Also, don't underestimate the joy of a stacked square! There are times to be welcoming to all, and times to set things up so that your square has a good time.